An Internal Combustion Engine
Ritual
Participants:
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Narrator(Gearhead),
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The 5 positions of the Engine(Top, Rear, Bottom, Front,
and
Center).
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The Narrator may also take the part of one of the
positions.
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Layout: The 5 positions situate themselves in the shape
of a
+ , with
an engine altar at the center. The four outer positions will have small
votive-style candles, whereas the center will have a taper candle
inserted in an ignition coil in the center of the engine altar.
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Ritual Invocation:
Gearhead(G)
We are gathered here today to voice the praises of the internal
combustion engine. A intro mechanical invention, no doubt, but one that
has changed this planet and its inhabitants forever. It owes its
existence to not only man, but to grandmother fire and grandfather
wheel, as well. Tomes about it have been studied in great detail by
countless women and men, and we will also speak of the related pieces
that help to make up the automobile.
First, let me tell you a brief history of the internal combustion
engine. It was 1883 that it was first invented, and 3 years later the
velocipede; a crude motorcycle. Companies sprang up all over the place,
transforming bicycles, buggies, and wagons into self-propelled
vehicles. But duplication was a problem, and they became toys for the
rich. 1908 saw the genesis of General Motors, and Ford released his
Model T, proclaiming to supply affordable cars to the masses. In 1910,
United Motors formed from over 130 small companies, only to collapse 2
years later. 1916 saw the U. S. military use vehicles for the first
time in their hunt for Poncho Villa, and they learned much from the
jalopies. 1927 saw a Buick motor with overhead valves. 1931 saw the
first test of a refrigerated truck, as people driving high dollar
Duesenbergs were jeered by the masses. By 1936, hydraulic brakes were
becoming standard. Cadillac offered credit to black buyers, an
unprecedented move. Many companies didn't survive the depression.
However, by 1940, many roads had been paved. World War II came and
went, taking with it many European factories. The interstate expressway
was born. In 1949, Honda sold his first motorcycle in Japan, the Dream.
American G. I.'s wanted European styling, and Ford answered with the
Thunderbird, Chrysler with the Chrysler-Ghia cars, and then the
Chrysler 300. More power was what America wanted, and the muscle car
era was born. G T O, Mustang, Javelin and Superbirds prowled the
streets, and a speed record was made that held 13 years! It was all
good except for soaring insurance rates, when the Oil Embargo hit.
Japanese imports suddenly were commonplace in the U. S. Better fuel
economy, emissions and crash safety became priorities. But with
changing ideas and changing management, the big three fought back to
profit, finding out they weren't the only games in town anymore. Cars
are now smarter, and the market is more international than ever before.
And even with hybrids scorning their ancestors, they couldn?t exist
without them.
Now, let us speak for the components of the engine whom do not
speak in our tongue. I will narrate this ritual, being the primary gear
head of this congregation. In that respect, you will address me as
Gearhead. Let us begin. Whom amongst you shall speak for the top of the
engine?
(T) I will. (Light candle).
(G) And the rear?
(R) I will. (Light candle)
(G) And the bottom?
(B) I will (Light candle)
(G) And the front?
(F) I will (Light candle)
(G) And the center?
(C) I will (Light candle).
(G) Then begin.
(T):
Oh Gearhead, I speak for the top of the engine. Praises be, for this is
where the engine feeds. Here, the fuel is mixed with the air, and
delivered to the combustion chamber. Be it carburetion, or injection,
this is also where the accelerator is connected. Valves, have I, in the
beginning on the side, but now over our head. Lifters were once
mechanical, but now hydraulic and sometimes roller, if the camshaft not
also be over our head. My camshaft runs the valves wisely choosing the
duration and lift. But as vital as I am, I am nothing without working
together with the rest.
(ALL) Praises be to the top of the engine.
(R)
Oh Gearhead, I speak for the rear of the engine. I am where the power
is delivered to the wheels. Be it flywheel or flex plate, manual or
automatic, I ensure the transmission of power. In the beginning, a
chain and sprocket I was, but then a torque tube, and then the
ingenious Hotchkiss system. Sometimes, my axle and transmission combine
as one, becoming a transaxle. My joints are universal, and sometimes
are built for constant velocity. Hydraulic brakes were a boon when it
came to stopping it all, and drums have given way for discs. And to
hold it all up, my springs are either coils, leaves, or air itself. But
as vital as I am, I am nothing without working together with the rest.
(ALL) Praises be to the rear of the engine.
(B)
Oh Gearhead, I speak for the bottom of the engine. Here is the heart,
the crankshaft. Bore and stroke have I, determining the size of my
pistons, the harvesters of grandmother fire. And the oil pump is here
as well, keeping it all lubed, for lubrication is good. Be them 2 or 4
bolt, my mains keep it all in place, and my wrist pins and rod caps are
important, too. Wisely, my bearing are of softer metals, sacrificing
themselves in times of strife. I send the power to the rear, and
through the front, my power goes to the top. Be us V, In-line, or Flat,
I must go around. But as vital as I am, I am nothing without working
together with the rest.
(ALL) Praises be to the bottom of the engine.
(F)
Oh Gearhead, I speak for the front of the engine. Here, the coolant is
pumped, taking away the heat from the fire and keeping it all from
freezing in the coldest winters. Sometimes, the entire engine is
designed for air to cool, but I am still important. I deliver the power
from the crankshaft in the bottom to the camshaft in the top. Commonly,
our stroke is four, and I abide by turning the crankshaft twice for
every single turn of the camshaft. And here, as well, are all the
accessories engaged, such as alternator, compressor, and power steering
pump. My balancer must be harmonic, for it must agree with the
crankshaft and flywheel, or it will all fly apart. But as vital as I
am, I am nothing without working together with the rest.
(ALL) Praises be to the front of the engine.
(C)
And lastly, oh Gearhead, there is the center. I speak for the
electrical system; the very nervous system of the engine. Originally, I
had only ignition to worry about, and then headlights, but my, has the
list grew.
They replaced my generator with an alternator, ran by the front of the
engine. I start it all with the battery, if its amps be sufficient.
Power window, locks, horns, fans, and the like are all under my
authority. But then came fuel injection, and how things changed. A
computer have I now, to closely monitor it all, and even tell the
driver where he is through GPS. I monitor the air, the emissions, and
tons of other things. But as vital as I am, I am nothing without
working together with the rest.
(ALL) Praises be to the center of the engine.
(G) Let us now drink, and remember how important lubrication
is.
Before you drink, please praise those companies you hold in high
regard. (Fill and pass glass)
(T) Praises be unto you, Edelbrock, Carter, Holley, and
Quadrajet.
Lunati, Crane, and Comp Cams. Weiand, Moroso, and Paxton. No nitrous
need I, for only babies need bottles. (Pass glass)
(R) Praises be unto you, B & M, Hurst, Richmond and TCI.
Borg
Warner, Saginaw, and Muncie. Moog and Strange, Eaton and Dana. Whatever
tires may I have, may the sidewalls wrinkle with torque. (Pass glass)
(B) Praises be unto you, Federal Mogul, Clevite, TRW and
Crower.
Manley, Melling, Moroso and more. Fel-Pro and Mr. Gasket. Havoline,
Valvoline; whatever the oil, may it remain viscous. (Pass glass)
(F) Praises be unto you, Perma-cool and Be Cool. Cloyes and
Miloden, Edelbrock and more. Whether my timing be gear, chain, or belt,
may it never slip. (Pass glass)
(C) Praises be unto you, MSD, Accel, and Mallory. Auto Meter
and AC
Delco, Autolite and Champion. May my charge be true, and my spark be
hot. (Return glass)
G)
And now, let me tell you a story:
We praise the Maverick, who acting much like a Nomad, acted on his own
Accord and left the Town & Country to become his own Blazer. Gazing
at the night sky, he saw the Comet pass Mercury on its way to Saturn in
our Galaxie. He did not need an Escort, for he was no Celebrity. He was
Cavalier with his Bravada in his aim to be an Explorer, so he grabbed
his Datsun, loaded up his Nissan, and like Charger, he left. He visited
a New Yorker, fought a Matador yielding a Cutlass, and with his Le
Sabre Rammed the Intrepid Brat. He crossed the Tundra, drove in Monaco,
Daytona, Scottsdale, and Bel Air. He thought he was alone in his
Excursion when he noticed the Caravan of Indians approaching. He made
peace with the Apache, Comanche, Cherokee, Pontiac, Sequoia, and even
the Dakotas. They showed him a strange flock of birds, consisting of
Falcons, Eagles, Thunderbirds, Firebirds, and even a Phoenix. He
followed a Mustang which was just a Colt, and saved it from the Cougar
and Bobcat. Then, the weather turned foul, with a Tempest following a
Lightning Storm. He went south, followed El Camino to the Ranchero, but
received a Citation, so he left. Finally, he settled in Tahoe, a
Special place, without Gremlins or Beetles. He became quite the Country
Squire, and settled into the life of a Diplomat.
(G) And now, the final oath before extinguishing your flames.
(ALL)
Oh Internal Combustion Engine, Oh mover of mankind, we all praise thee.
You show us the world, and help make it smaller. You show us ourselves,
in the cars we choose to drive. And you show ourselves to others, in
the manner in which we drive them. We will not beseech thee, oh guzzler
of fossil fuel, for even as men work to replace you, they arrive at
their tasks through you. We smile with every one who has assembled you
and felt their heart leap at the first sound you made. We are thankful
for the Earth from which you are made, the Air which you breath, the
Water which cools you, and the Fire that drives you. May there always
be trees you can hang from, and roads for you to drive down. Like true
gearheads, we smile at thee, and we know you smile back.
Praises Be.
(Extinguish candles)
The End. (of the ritual, anyways. the story continues on...)
Example of an Engine Altar:
Description, starting at the bottom:
Valve Covers representing the Top Oldsmobile V8
Ring Gear representing the Rear Unknown rear differential
Cam Gear representing the Front Oldsmobile V8
Ignition Coil representing the Center Ford inline 6
Pistons(&rods) representing the Bottom Chevy V8
The primary purpose of the Altar is to serve as a focus point
representing every point of the ritual.
Obviously, the combinations are nearly endless.
Ritual
Author Keven Bye For June 2006 Full Moon Ritual, LexCUUPs
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